Once home, she was very disturbed about the affair, not just because it had happened and she was married, occasionally having had other one-night stands during her travels abroad, but because this time, it felt much more serious. Not just a quick roll in the hay with a handsome man in another country, but a heart-mind-spirit connection that seemed impossible to have happened so quickly. In a sense, she wasn’t even entirely sure it was real, but obviously, it all was. And now, in this case, she was clearly emotionally involved despite her general caution.
One night shortly thereafter her return, in the hot tub with Charles overlooking the Pacific Ocean, she was telling him about all the exciting things she’d done and places she’d visited, on this, her second trip to the U.S.S.R. Excluding the tale of her and Vitaly, of course. So much was changing, so much was opening to the West under Gorbachev’s “glasnost”, that now some private business was even possible, where beforehand there was only the Black Market.
It was indeed true that most of the stores had empty shelves around 1990, but things were changing fast. When she finished, after telling him all about how fascinating she thought and excited she was about all things Russian, he said, screwing his face to the side in that way he had, “Aren’t you done with this Russia stuff yet?”
--...---
He had accompanied her on that first life-changing Sister City delegation trip to Yalta, so indeed she was shocked and somewhat dismayed at this insensitive remark. Could he not recognize she was nowhere near being done with Russia? And that not even counting the handsome Vitaly in her sights.
It was this exchange that made her realize he didn’t know her at all, really, after thirteen years of marriage. He often asked when she would stop traveling so much, and maybe settle down to have children. Or other more conventional aspirations. But, as a travel agent for over ten years, she was traveling the world whenever she got a chance. In other words, when there was enough of her money enough to go anywhere. Like, visiting places all over the world was her life!
No way. She wasn’t planning to stop traveling for many more years to come, period. She was only about twenty-eight, and a Sagittarius, those known for their traveling ways. It was in her DNA.
Over the next days, she started to formulate a plan, with mind and heart. She really needed to see Vitaly again just to know, was it some passionate but fleeting affair, or something much, much deeper and needing her attention. After all, the world will always welcome lovers “As Time Goes By”.
She simply had to get back to Russia. There was no question about it.
Organizing a solo trip there for her first time would be not such a big deal, as she had connections to discounted airfares, knew about visas and the like, having been there twice. But what to tell her husband? How could she explain why she was going again, but this time on her own. Alone, without a tour group, the group setting that gave him confidence she’d be safe, or at the least more likely found, should something happen?
Now, if it was just a fun fling, she wasn’t going to tell her Charles about Vitaly, destroying her marriage just for that heat-of-the-night-thrill. And though she loved her husband, his sense of humor and vigor, and so much more, she and he had been drifting apart long enough she simply felt she had no choice but to investigate her feelings for this Vitaly, this man of mystery and fine Russian accent.
Business! Yes! That’s it, she thought. “Business” could be her reason, her excuse. Say, she needed to go back to arrange further delegations and potential business relationships with Santa Barbara investors? And maybe, say, she could make more connections for the Sister City organization now she was a board member.
She truly hated deceiving him, and indeed he seemed, when told about the plan, a bit dubious of her motives, but it was the only thing she could think of that wouldn’t cause mayhem in the relationship. Though lacking in passion and physical connection after the years, it was yet full of stability and the occasional good time out.
She booked a cheap flight from LAX to Helsinki, flying in January 1991. Having thought, in her Romantic way, how very “Anna Karenina” it’d be taking the overnight train in the Nordic-Russian winter, and crossing those incredibly vast snow-covered lands all the way to St. Petersburg, she arranged exactly that, to where Vitaly would meet her.
He had done his part in the arrangements, communicating by telex. For those not in the know, the telex network was a person to person network for text messaging. You have a telex in your cellphone, basically, except you don’t have to visit an office. So, like that. But he even managed to arrange a short phone call, not an easy nor cheap thing at the time. They agreed to meet in St. Petersburg at the train station. The decision and plans were now made with obvious mutual delight.
Her heart was soaring and she was wishing she still had some Valium, or at least a Chardonnay.